My memory is pretty bad. It always has been. I've had therapists who've wondered if I suffered some early childhood trauma because my memory is so bad. But, as Maya Angelou has said, I also always remember how someone made me feel. Or, how an event or time in my life made me feel. I think. Unless I've forgotten because it was so traumatic, I suppose.
I remember memorizing Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Less Travelled" for an oration assignment in high school. I always felt I was taking the unmarked path, not as rebellion, but always curiosity. I see myself now at a distinct fork in the road -- one between career and family, school and unschooling, growth and regurgitation of my ancestry, egotism and connection, conformity and committed individuality. I suppose the fork is multi-pronged or even infinitely so. The less trodden path can be a never trodden one -- of which, there are many.
I read a book to my 5 year old Princess Rose and 2.5 year old Fairy Luz tonight that Princess had picked out. "The Three Questions" we had read many times before, though it had been months since we last read it. Tonight it made so much more sense to me. It is based on a story by Leo Tolstoy -- a boy seeks answers to three questions:
1) What is the most important thing to do?
2) Who is most important one?
3) When is the right time to act?
Simple truths in story and song told and sung eternally.
Be here now. Love the one you're with.
So I snuggle Princess and Fairy after a romantic visit with the Chef Hunter Gatherer. I feel grateful and happy for my bounty. I hold my girls when they are screaming or fighting or distraught. I hold them when I am overjoyed. I got the message tonight from a discussion forum that I should hold Chef, be kind, gentle, loving and make his life happier. The way is clear, though the road unmarked and less travelled by.
How exciting to be here now. How wonderful to love the ones I'm with.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Monday, October 20, 2008
My first blog, ever. And, no, I'm not sleeping.
Day 13 of our trip to London is the first day I feel I can take some time to take on a new project...like my first blog.
Today, we walked from our little fancy-pants neck of the woods off Park Lane in Mayfair by Hyde Park to St. James Park to Buckingham Palace by Big Ben and Westminster Abbey then along the Southbank to the Tate Modern museum. We went to the Rothko exhibit and I fell in love with his "Four Darks in Red" (1958). I was pleased as punch to discover that the "home" of this painting was at the Whitney in NYC. Yay! I'll get the chance to see it again sometime soon.
My 27 month old daughter, C. found some friends in the room that housed this painting and started creating her own artwork, there, on the museum floor on a piece of borrowed paper. It was a mom and her two young children with oil pastels, colored pencils and lap easels creating their own versions of "Four Darks". What a great idea. I'm stealing that one, lady, for the near future when my two little ducklings will be old enough to be behaved when a curious little 2 year old comes poking around and takes all the crayons, draws on my child's art while my children look on laughing, being entertained by youth younger than they....Thankfully, C. was rested enough and not too hungry -- she very carefully returned the pastels and pencils, tidied up and then thanked each of them for letting her draw with them. And, I didn't even coach her to do any of it, bless her little beautiful soul.
Looking at Rothko up close -- I felt how much I've succumbed to conformity -- how hard it would be for me to paint something so textured and so seemingly simple at the same time. Yet, how effortlessly C. can create the feel of something textured and simple...I hate to think how I am polluting her mind, her creativity with whatever social constructions I've internalized, that she copies in earnest. She literally took my tweezers the other day and spent a good 15 minutes trying to tweeze her own eyebrows! If that isn't teaching her what's important in life, I don't know what is.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I wish I were worth imitating that closely! I'll spend the rest of my life working on it.
Now, to share notes on London from a parent-of-a-toddler's perspective:
1) Mayfair library storytime for under 5's
http://www.westminster.gov.uk/libraries/findalibrary/mayfair.cfm
Many moms with babes ranging in age from infant to age 3. There were a couple of dads, nannies and even grandparents as far as I could tell. I've never gone to any storytimes at libraries for little ones -- it just never seemed like something I or my little one would enjoy. When they are so young and not moving yet, I don't think they appreciate the storytelling and when they are old enough to begin moving, I think they'd rather move than sit still for a story. Maybe around 3 I could see C. enjoying a short storytime, but as she's not there yet, this storytime was torture for us both. C. sat still in my lap for most of it, but even at the parts where interaction and movement were invited, other moms started telling C. what to do and how to interact, including one English mum commanding her multiple times to return a bicycle horn that had been given to her by the storyteller. Anyone could see that she was still playing with it and exploring what it was and could do.
After the storytime was over, C. asked to read multiple books with just me while sitting on my lap. When it was time to go, I tried to talk to her about the storytime and she just said, "Go to RIE?" -- her playgroup from home where she gets to play and explore at will. Poor little one. We've hardly been here 2 weeks and she misses home.
2. Nearest green space to us is in front of The Church of the Immaculate Conception
I wish there were an interactive London guide of all the parks and green spaces letting you know if they are A) open to the public and B) actually USABLE green spaces. On our first day of not being sick after about a week of being here, I had enough energy to take C. to this spot knowing we could rush home should the weather suddenly turn or we needed something (like a bathroom break!). C. was so excited to see all the green space, but as we approached it, saw little signs everywhere saying "Keep off the grass." Total buzz kill.
3. Rudolf Steiner House has a playgroup for children up to age 3
http://www.rsh.anth.org.uk/pages/parent.html
35 Park Road NW1 6XT
(6 sterling for drop-in, 5 concessions)
Once a week for the next 2 months, this is where C. and I will be going to play! This Waldorf playgroup has free play, a creative activity (this last week it was water color painting), snack time (rice cakes and fruit), circle time with Waldorf songs and storytime (also Waldorf). It was surprisingly filled with Asian mums and their little ones -- Japanese and Koreans! Who knew the Japanese and Koreans even knew about Waldorf! But, I was there, too, and I'm Korean (kind of, if you take away the Americanization part). C. loved it. Especially after our rigidly stiffling library storytime. It wasn't as peaceful and wonderful as our RIE class, but it was much more what we were accustomed to for a playgroup!
Today, we walked from our little fancy-pants neck of the woods off Park Lane in Mayfair by Hyde Park to St. James Park to Buckingham Palace by Big Ben and Westminster Abbey then along the Southbank to the Tate Modern museum. We went to the Rothko exhibit and I fell in love with his "Four Darks in Red" (1958). I was pleased as punch to discover that the "home" of this painting was at the Whitney in NYC. Yay! I'll get the chance to see it again sometime soon.
My 27 month old daughter, C. found some friends in the room that housed this painting and started creating her own artwork, there, on the museum floor on a piece of borrowed paper. It was a mom and her two young children with oil pastels, colored pencils and lap easels creating their own versions of "Four Darks". What a great idea. I'm stealing that one, lady, for the near future when my two little ducklings will be old enough to be behaved when a curious little 2 year old comes poking around and takes all the crayons, draws on my child's art while my children look on laughing, being entertained by youth younger than they....Thankfully, C. was rested enough and not too hungry -- she very carefully returned the pastels and pencils, tidied up and then thanked each of them for letting her draw with them. And, I didn't even coach her to do any of it, bless her little beautiful soul.
Looking at Rothko up close -- I felt how much I've succumbed to conformity -- how hard it would be for me to paint something so textured and so seemingly simple at the same time. Yet, how effortlessly C. can create the feel of something textured and simple...I hate to think how I am polluting her mind, her creativity with whatever social constructions I've internalized, that she copies in earnest. She literally took my tweezers the other day and spent a good 15 minutes trying to tweeze her own eyebrows! If that isn't teaching her what's important in life, I don't know what is.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I wish I were worth imitating that closely! I'll spend the rest of my life working on it.
Now, to share notes on London from a parent-of-a-toddler's perspective:
1) Mayfair library storytime for under 5's
http://www.westminster.gov.uk/libraries/findalibrary/mayfair.cfm
Many moms with babes ranging in age from infant to age 3. There were a couple of dads, nannies and even grandparents as far as I could tell. I've never gone to any storytimes at libraries for little ones -- it just never seemed like something I or my little one would enjoy. When they are so young and not moving yet, I don't think they appreciate the storytelling and when they are old enough to begin moving, I think they'd rather move than sit still for a story. Maybe around 3 I could see C. enjoying a short storytime, but as she's not there yet, this storytime was torture for us both. C. sat still in my lap for most of it, but even at the parts where interaction and movement were invited, other moms started telling C. what to do and how to interact, including one English mum commanding her multiple times to return a bicycle horn that had been given to her by the storyteller. Anyone could see that she was still playing with it and exploring what it was and could do.
After the storytime was over, C. asked to read multiple books with just me while sitting on my lap. When it was time to go, I tried to talk to her about the storytime and she just said, "Go to RIE?" -- her playgroup from home where she gets to play and explore at will. Poor little one. We've hardly been here 2 weeks and she misses home.
2. Nearest green space to us is in front of The Church of the Immaculate Conception
I wish there were an interactive London guide of all the parks and green spaces letting you know if they are A) open to the public and B) actually USABLE green spaces. On our first day of not being sick after about a week of being here, I had enough energy to take C. to this spot knowing we could rush home should the weather suddenly turn or we needed something (like a bathroom break!). C. was so excited to see all the green space, but as we approached it, saw little signs everywhere saying "Keep off the grass." Total buzz kill.
3. Rudolf Steiner House has a playgroup for children up to age 3
http://www.rsh.anth.org.uk/pages/parent.html
35 Park Road NW1 6XT
(6 sterling for drop-in, 5 concessions)
Once a week for the next 2 months, this is where C. and I will be going to play! This Waldorf playgroup has free play, a creative activity (this last week it was water color painting), snack time (rice cakes and fruit), circle time with Waldorf songs and storytime (also Waldorf). It was surprisingly filled with Asian mums and their little ones -- Japanese and Koreans! Who knew the Japanese and Koreans even knew about Waldorf! But, I was there, too, and I'm Korean (kind of, if you take away the Americanization part). C. loved it. Especially after our rigidly stiffling library storytime. It wasn't as peaceful and wonderful as our RIE class, but it was much more what we were accustomed to for a playgroup!
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